{Participating in Gwen Bell’s “Best of 2009″ Blog Challenge. Y’know, in case you were wondering.}
Challenge. Something that really made you grow this year. That made you go to your edge and then some. What made it the best challenge of the year for you?
Anyone who claims to have gone through an entire year without struggling through at least a little bit of it has either discovered the secret to utopia, is in denial about his/her life, or is engaging in general tomfoolery/potential skullduggery.
I’ve been married for a little under a year and a half; Mike and I have been together for a little over four and a half years. We’ve spent these years rocking out; going on our annual mecca to PAX; and discovering who we are. Much earlier this year, my husband dropped a bomb: he wanted to give up his career as a software developer and become a police officer.
As you can see, said husband is built fairly strongly and would make an excellent police officer based on his physical and mental attributes alone. However, and herein lies the greatest challenge of our marriage let alone the year, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I’ve spent the majority of my life bombarded by propaganda that swears cops are corrupt. When not bombarded with negative propaganda, my imagination runs wild and I’m left with the possibility that I could become a widow.
That had never, ever, crossed my mind.
How in the world was I supposed to support a cause that I had no desire of supporting at all? I didn’t really want him to up and run off to become a police officer. Selfishly, I was determined to hate it. I mean, I’m rebellious. I don’t really like authority. The Man can’t keep me down, man! Out of nowhere, I was to be married to The Man?
A single, four-letter word came to mind.
Frak (or a variation of said expletive).
And thus, he went through the application process and, might I add, did admirably. I moved back to Kamloops (with my folks) in anticipation of him moving to Regina, Saskatchewan for six months of training. I got an excellent job working with folks in need of a job. Things were… generally okay. If I had been single, it would have been relatively ideal.
But, I was apart from the love of my life. I was miserable. I became reclusive and disconnected myself from a lot of my friends in Kamloops — most of them flipped me off and walked out right when I needed them most. In addition to my internal conflict, there was a constant stream of Kamloops drama.
When I was visiting him in New Westminster, he looked at my face and made his decision. I took one look at his and made my own. He’d decided against the RCMP while I’d finally, finally found myself warming to it. In the midst of his application, Mike pulled out of the running. I was… relieved. Sad. Conflicted. Confused. Even angry. All I wanted to do was prove to him that I supported him in all of his madness but had only managed to dissuade from pursuing it.
September rolled around and we moved in together — in our beautiful apartment just of 3 road in Richmond — only to discover that those four months apart had changed us. We are faced with another challenge: rediscover one another while discovering ourselves individually.
Perhaps this will be our challenge of 2010.
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