The year started with great intentions of affluence, patience, and growth. As I look back on 2011, there have been more than a few notable additions (and subtractions). I’ve analyzed choices made and avoided. There are patterns that have emerged. Patterns that run deep in everything I say and do. Patterns that I need to change. Not improve. Not remove. Change entirely.
During my (very) brief stint with Reverb last year, I noted that my word of the year (2010) was Erudite. I was a Scholar — I put a strong emphasis on learning and surrounding myself with people that were working towards self improvement and biznez development. It was a year of hardship and growing pains for violetminded. My first pregnancy, followed by the first trimester exhaustion.
2011′s word is Evolution.
Notable Evolutions
- Motherhood. I had a very specific image in mind when I found out I was pregnant. When I actually became a mother, the reality was entirely different. As I write this, my living room has toys stored in niches and corners as we organize our new space. I swore I’d never be one of those parents that had toys everywhere. Little did I know that mothers and families often do this out of necessity (especially when baby starts to be very active), not because they’re not interested in keeping the space tidy and adult friendly.
- Wealth and accumulation. I was afraid of it, folks. Very afraid. I looked at wealth as something that often came coupled with rampant consumerism. I didn’t (and don’t) want to be the kind of person that soothes with going to the store and buying something that doesn’t make me happy in the long run. But what I did realize is that money isn’t the problem. I don’t have a problem with shopping excessively. I don’t tend to enjoy huge shopping sprees — they make me nervous. I do enjoy saving my money for an item that I’ve been dreaming of. Like a tablet. Or a designer jacket. Or the Lululemon track pants I bought the other day.
- Health. When I was pregnant (all the way up until nine months), I walked. A lot. I walked to the cafes for working. I walked to the grocery store in Kerrisdale village. Having a new baby meant that I spent a lot of days doing what he wanted to do: sit around or sleep. The rotten weather in Vancouver didn’t help either. So, when I put on my favourite pair of jeans (about a month back) and noticed they were a lot snugger than I remembered, I knew that I needed to make a change.
- Biznez. I vastly undercharged for the first two years of my biz. Worst part of it was that I felt like I was overcharging for my services. It wasn’t until I started to work with My People — those brilliant, confident, and exceedingly loving few — that I started to realize my own worth. Those that think I’m not worth it? Well, that’s their hangup, not mine. I own my problems, not theirs.
- Relationships. I made a few painful ejections this year in my personal life — none of which I was particularly happy to make. What they say is true: there are major events in life that will determine who your Real Friends are. Real Friends drag you out of the house, kicking and screaming. Real Friends call you and bother you, even if you don’t want to be bothered. Real Friends stop by with baking and loving conversation. Real Friends remind you that things aren’t as difficult as they seem. Most importantly, Real Friends put their hangups aside when you are in crisis (and you do the same for them in their times of need).
2011 was an important year — one of the most important of my life.
A Manifesta for 2012
Be mindful. Don’t take the small (or big) things for granted.
Practice patience. Breathe deeply.
There is no such thing as overwhelmed. I’m just exceptionally busy with the things (and people) I love and enjoy.
Say no to things (and people) that drain me. Say yes to the things (and people) that excite and perhaps scare me.
Move everyday. Move slowly for meditation. Move quickly for exercising. Move randomly for joy.
Cuddle and enjoy my baby boy. These are precious moments I’ll never get back.
Laugh often. Smile openly. Compliment unabashedly.
Love. Love when it hurts. Love when it’s not returned. Love because love is all we need.
Luxuriate responsibly. And often.
Invite in creativity. Exorcise negativity.
Don’t apologize for who I am. Take me for who I am. Love me or leave me.
Seek out friends with small children. Seek out friends with no children.
Slow-dance with my husband check-to-cheek. No talking.
Collaborate intelligently.
Buy artwork. Support local artists and artisans. Go to the museums, art galleries, restaurants, markets, and shops that I love, either by myself or with like-minded friends. Go somewhere every weekend.
Learn to love my body. It deserves better than my contempt and dislike.
Food is more than fuel. Eat healthy, delicious, organic meals crafted with love. Indulge in the occasional treat without guilt.
Go on a (mini) solo vacation to a creative community that I adore. Create wondrous things during said mini sabbatical.
Don’t wait for approval. Do what feels right without apology or pretense.
Be gracious. Be graceful. Keep growing.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
I admire your honesty in reviewing your experience of 2011 and setting out your intentions for 2012. Hope it will be your best year yet.
…. wow… What you wrote… It’s sure something we should all strive to do in our daily lives. Thank you for sharing such insight. Insight you have at such a young age, when some of us are just achieving these same “a-ha” moments in our own lives but at a much older age. You touch me Amanda. Always. I haven’t told you lately how much I admire you… your commitment to being a better person, your commitment to enjoy life, and your commitment to be a more positive person in other people’s lives. Your enthusiasm is contagious and as I go into 2012 I share your sentiments and thank you for reminding me that I, too, can be a better me than I am. Love to you and yours.
Amanda, a most excellent post. It sounds live 2011 was quite the journey and that you are looking forward to 2012 being just as glorious. I wish you well on your past accomplishments, hope that 2012 is all you expect it to be and then some.
Deep Peace,
Ardee-ann
Thank you for this beautiful post, Amanda. I, too, learned some very profound lessons in 2011 & some of mine sound quite similar to yours. One in particular is that I am no longer willing to put energy into relationships that drain me or where there is not some sense of reciprocity. Being mindful is an important daily practice of mine… and having just returned from a 5-day New Year’s silent meditation retreat I am very in touch with the benefits of this practice… and the inner peace and healing it brings. I wish you much love, peace and creative joy in 2012. And, look forward to chatting with you soon about my website!
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